Niños Curiosos, Mentores Creativos

As part of our son’s school activities, he was recently considered for a swimming competition. Swimming is a sport that our son enjoys more and more, however, we noticed that as the date of the competition approached, he began to show unusual anxiety.

When we asked him why he was so anxious (we have always tried to maintain fluid and honest communication with him) he told us that he is afraid of failing at any given moment in the competition.

Sound familiar?

Maybe your son or daughter has expressed fear of failure in any age-appropriate activity (from a test to an art performance or sports competition)?

We took on the task of doing some research on the subject and below we want to briefly share with you what we found.

Fear of failure is something that everyone (including adults) experiences at some point and it is important to learn to manage it properly. In the case of children, fear of failure can negatively affect their academic performance and their personal life: one of the ways in which this affectation manifests itself is that it can lead them to avoid challenges and feel insecure.

Some of the most common causes of disproportionate fear of failure in children are:

+ high expectations of their performance: children may feel very pressured to meet these expectations,

+ comparison with others: children can lower their self-esteem if they are constantly compared with their peers,

+ negative past experiences: children who have had an experience of failure in which they were embarrassed or ridiculed may develop an excessive fear of failure in the future.

Some general recommendations for the child to learn to manage the fear of failure are:

+ recognize the effort, not just the result: in a world where we are increasingly taught to be competitive from a young age (and often to win at all costs) it is important to recognize in our children the effort made even if the desired result is not achieved at a given time,

+ reducing pressure: it is crucial to teach our children that they will not be judged as people by the result obtained and that it is important for them to enjoy the process. Another way to reduce pressure is to avoid comparisons,

+ the importance of example: the best way for a child to learn is by example, so it is important that their parents and teachers see examples of how to handle failure with optimism and see in every failure a learning opportunity,

As we have always recommended in our posts: what is mentioned here is only at a general level and from personal experience, and it is recommended that you consult a professional in case that your son or daughter shows a non-normal anxiety for fear of failure.

See you soon!